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    My father burst from my closet. "I told you I'd thump ya if I ever caught you hitting that yeet, nibba," he ejaculated. Then, he thumped me. I haven't hit that yeet since. •• PART II: Until today. This morning was my father's funeral. At the procession, my brother asked me to say a few words. I told him I only needed one. With confidence, I approached the podium. I gazed out upon the gathering of sad faces. I cleared my throat and leaned into the microphone. "Yeet," I spake. Suddenly, my father leapt from his hand-crafted mahogany coffin, the gunshot wound still in his chest. He sprinted up to the podium with the energy of a man without a gunshot wound in his chest. "Y'all hittin' that dirty fuckin' yeet at my funeral?" he ejaculated. He raised his hand to thump me. "Not so fast, pa." I grabbed his hand. "Yaint thumpin' no mo'." My father looked at me with eyes as open as the gunshot wound in his chest. A tear fell from his right eye, which also had a monocle.
    I was born into a family of non-yeeters. Every morning before I went to school my father would say, "if I ever find out that you've hit that yeet, I'll thump ya." "Yes, pa," I would always reply. It was a regular occurrence for him to burst into my room unannounced while I was relaxing or doing my homework. "Y'all hitting that yeet?" he would seeth. "No, pa," I would answer. "Good." He would then walk out of the room and shout, "if I ever catch ya, it's a thumpin'." It was a difficult upbringing. I had seen my friends hittin' that yeet at school, and many of them encouraged me to partake. I would swallow my pride. "No, thanks. I don't want to catch a thumpin' from pa." As a result, I was an outcast. A loner. I became depressed, knowing that I would never be like my peers, that I would never fit in - I would never hit that yeet. One day, when I was still but a wee lad, I became curious. I was in my room, watching Instagram videos of fellas my age hittin' that yeet all over town without a care in the world. My intentions got the better of me. I stood up, my knees trembling. Carefully, I leaned onto my right foot and raised my hand in the air. I breathed in. "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEET!"
    Rawr x3 nuzzles how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o notices you have a bulge o: someone's happy nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~ hehehe rubbies your bulgy wolgy you're so big ooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn't stop growing ·///· kisses you and lickies your necky daddy likies (; nuzzles wuzzles I hope daddy really likes $: wiggles butt and squirms I want to see your big daddy meat~ wiggles butt I have a little itch o3o wags tail can you please get my itch~ puts paws on your chest nyea~ its a seven inch itch rubs your chest can you help me pwease squirms pwetty pwease sad face I need to be punished runs paws down your chest and bites lip like I need to be punished really good~ paws on your bulge as I lick my lips I'm getting thirsty. I can go for some milk unbuttons your pants as my eyes glow you smell so musky :v licks shaft mmmm~ so musky drools all over your cock your daddy meat I like fondles Mr. Fuzzy Balls hehe puts snout on balls and inhales deeply
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